Attending Church Part 2: Let’s Not Look at the Dirty

As I reflect on my last post I have started to formulate other ideas about the reasons that I have such a difficult time attending church. As stated in the last post it feels like so many churches want you to fit into their idea of what a Christian is. On top of this most churches idea of being a Christian is being ‘fine.’

Each Sunday we walk up to each other and ask how we are doing. The response that most of us give, admittedly myself included, is ‘fine.’ Yes I am fine today. It does not have to be the reality but it is what is expected. In my experience when I say that I am doing terrible people don’t know what to say. They stand their eyes wide seeming to wonder why I had the audacity to ruin their ‘fine’ Sunday with reality. I have found that reality is not what they wanted they wanted to know that you were ‘fine’ too. They didn’t want to see anything dirty.

One or two people have just walked away without saying another word. Why is it wrong for us to be real with other Christians and expect support from them? Why do we not want to see the dirty parts of the other Christians around us? We are all human. We all hurt and are imperfect.

This week let’s all try to be real with the other Christians around us who can offer support. Let’s also make sure that if someone says they are not ‘fine’ that we stop our ‘fine’ day and offer a shoulder to lean on.

To read the rest of the posts:


~ by curtismchale on November 27, 2007.

7 Responses to “Attending Church Part 2: Let’s Not Look at the Dirty”

  1. … it seems you can’t be real while being invested in forms of dare i say it ‘ignorance’ … ignorance is bliss afterall …

    have realized thru all the churchology … that we all have to start somewhere. it is like nursery school, hopeful to graduate to 1st grade, 2nd grade etc.

    thankful we don’t have to stay in such ignorant states of being, we are suppose to continue ‘on’ in the faith – which i am sure you know also.

    it all comes down to the point of our own being … being with God. we are the church & we have to want to be the change we want to see in the world … each day!

    thanks for your honesty in your posting. & no. i am not fine all the time either.

  2. it is that false mask that has turned off the hurting world for the most part…they look at this “everythings fine” church most present and do not think that either can relate to each other…they hurt and want a Jesus who can relate…which HE CAN!! Yet the church acts like people have to have it together before one can attend…

  3. I refuse to conform – if someone asks me how I’m doing and I’m not “fine”, I’ll tell them, but usually in a non-threatening way that allows them to choose whether they want to take it any further or not. I say: “I’m surviving!” but in a light-hearted way that is a little bit tongue-in-cheek but also a little bit on the serious side. And if I’m doing well, I think “fine” has lost its meaning… so I’ll say I’m “great” or “decent”, or whatever adjective seems most relevant at the time. 🙂

  4. […] Let’s Not Look at the Dirty […]

  5. […] Attending Church 2: Let’s Not Look at the Dirty […]

  6. Over the years one of the things I started doing was if someone I felt or knew was hurting and I was able to make the time to listen, when they said “Fine” I stopped them and said Is that just a social comment or are you really fine. Amazing at how shocked they often looked and also amazing at how it opened an opportunity for them to talk honestly about how they were really feeling. Don’t do this unless you really have time to listen. If they open their hearts you will immediately close their hearts again if you start fidgeting or looking at your watch. Be fully with them at that moment. If time runs out for either of you you can always ask for permission to call them later.

  7. it is important to be open honest and trasparent. its is essential to bulid a true community. (:

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