Attending Church Part 1

Here is my disclaimer. I wrote these a number of months ago. I don’t feel the thoughts as closely as I have before since I have found a church. While rereading them I still feel there are valid thoughts expressed. So this is part 1 of a 5 part post.

This is an area that I struggle with. I know that I should be involved in a community of believer’s. To do that I need to attend church. Here is my dilemma, I have been to many churches in my life. I spent almost two whole years going to one church that felt very friendly when we started to attend it. Many people came up to us a said hello. This happened for weeks, and truthfully many people continued to say hello until we left. The problem was that was as far inside the church as we could get. My wife volunteered with the youth group, as did I when I had time. We always helped with cleanup of events and served at the picnics. Still we only were able to find one couple that would join us as friends. I truly love this young couple and we had, and still have, many fun days hiking or having coffee.

The problem is, why did no one else let us into their world. We went out with other people and talked with them at church, when we initiated the conversation. But no one ever put forth the effort to make sure that we were connected and felt like part of the church. Was their and entry fee that we did not know about? Should I have dressed nicer? Should I have spouted the proper ‘Christianese” that most expect?

Why does it seem like so many churches expect you to fit their little idea of what a Christian should be? If you don’t fit that then you aren’t totally accepted. Sure you can hang out at church and people will talk to you when they have to, but truly accept you and let you into their lives… Not if you don’t fit their idea of a Christian.

The Rest of the Posts:


~ by curtismchale on November 26, 2007.

8 Responses to “Attending Church Part 1”

  1. I believe that if you come across a church that is so ‘cold’ then you shouldn’t bother being there. Go find somewhere if you can that exhibits true Christian fellowship, not somewhere where they dictate how you should be to be accepted. If it means you don’t attend church, then maybe that’s better. Maybe that may make you feel a little alone in your faith, but at the end of the day,as long as you are true to it and in your heart, that’s what’s important:)

  2. Thanks for the comment on my Sturggles. I can relate to your feelings as well. In my town there are just a few Catholic churches, the one we attend is best suited for our family, we have alot to offer the youth and such. But I do at times feel that if we aren’t involved in the exact same things at church some people do tend to do their polite hello and how are ya? and go on their way. I don’t know if there is a way to feel fully accepted by the people of the church. Maybe just be grateful for the few or one couple that you are close with and continue to be involved especially if you have children. Because I believe we are here to serve the Lord in our church and out, not the people. Although I am not saying that you are trying to please the people, what I am saying is stay focused on your service to the Lord and be grateful that he did place that couple in your life.

  3. was too tired to comment yesterday…I am enjoying these posts as I am on a very similar journey

  4. I struggle with many of the same issues. My dilemma now is this: My wife loves this penecostal church we first started to attend and I did not enjoy it at all. It was due to the same reasons you mentioned above. I did not have the same struggle with not being able to serve but the moment I didn’t feel in my heart to serve in a particular area, the leaders turned cold. My wife has started to go back there for church and bible studies. I can’t tolerate the people but my wife loves them. I know that we can not attend seperate churches but when she comes home on Sundays she is always extremely happy. It is hard to find a church both people agree on.

  5. Dave:

    I took my wife and almost two years to find a church at first. Then we moved in a few months. We have been currently blessed with a great church in our new city. The first one we went to. Praise the Lord!

  6. […] I think back to when I was looking for a church and remember that the first time I walked in I really didn’t want all of that […]

  7. […] Love of Church As you know if you have been reading my blog for a while I have struggled with church attendance. In fact, I have struggled with it alot. There have been many years when I […]

  8. […] Church Part 2: Let’s Not Look at the Dirty As I reflect on my last post I have started to formulate other ideas about the reasons that I have such a difficult time […]

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